career - an event and its concomitant circumstances

(click above to download)

career - no truth

(click above to grab file)

dear bridget riley,

imagine yourself seated in a comfortable chair now imagine your eyes closed imagining your insides black gooey velvety texture imagine how peach fuzz soft your heart is warm & squirming like a black rat in your hands now imagine the buzzcocks coming thru the floorboards from the apartment below:

" it must have meaning, whether we know it or not. "

i begin to piece together the puzzle i feel a warm hum come over me i feel the dogs tongue on my face...

dear bridget riley,

when you say forever do you mean forever?
in my mind we're already married.

no one is going to be willing to love me in such a way when they find out i love you.

and i've been thinking about what you said about you & what you said about me & about everybody else you really love and want to be with.

i dunno if you love me, maybe you do. i mean, i know you do. but obviously not like i love you. which is ok.

but i think if you did love me you'd take some responsibility for it & not dick me around & say shit to make me stick around like "some day" kinda shit. because it has a huge effect on me, in everything i do. and i wish it didn't but it does.

so i think you should decide, if not now, when. either to tell me to fuck off it's not going to work. or be with me & love me. i love you so fucking much i don't want to feel like this ever again.
if you love me, you should want me to be happy, whatever that is. that's rhetoric, but true.

i don't want to be the guy on the side, i'm not oblivious to what goes on in your life. i don't want to live my life totally loving you only to find out you've fallen in love with someone else & are now getting married & having kids & etc.

this isn't a rehash and this isn't an ultimatum. this is me finally completely decisively know what i want.

your companion always,
l.

MP3 Of The Day

Group Inerane - "Awal September"

(right click link above) (stolen from "said the gramophone")

From the sublime frequencies disk "Guitars From Agadez (Music of Niger)". totally sold out & only on vinyl. This tune makes me feel too good to feel guilty about downloading it. i listen to this on my mp3 player & imagine myself warm & toasty in a libyan refugee camp. rather than freezing my nips off in scarborough. but don't take my word for it.