The following is a one act play starring Career as themselves, and Dr. K. Lalani as Moxy Fruvous drummer Jian Ghomeshi (obviously).
The players: M - Matt
L - Linton
T - Tristan
C - Chris
JG - Jian Ghomeshi as played by Dr. K
(Setting: Radio studio, everyone sitting around a table.)
JG: Okay, Career is the name of my next guest. If the name "Career" sounds familiar, there might be a couple reasons why. First, they have released 30-plus albums in the past 3 years (yes this is a band with ambition). Second, the Career's principle drummer is a man by the name of Linton, whose day job (some of the time) is Deja vu Discs guy and adult film screenwriter, actor and director. While Linton's name is most often linked to his cinematic endevours, Career is anything but a diversion from the silver screen. He's always intended to make music, he just got sidetracked. These days, music is a major priority in his life and something he's obviously embracing. Career are currently on tour with country legend Willie Nelson, and I'm pleased to have all the members in studio here, Hello boys! (hellos)
JG: Thirty plus albums in the past three years, that seems ambitious!
T - That's the ones that have been released. We've got about five thousand.
JG: There's more? Linton, I mean you guys just formed in the past couple of years, right?
L: I don't know what you are talking about.
JG: *chuckle* How so?
L: I don't know what you mean by that.
JG: Well.. well.. when did the band form?
L: I'm not sure what that means.
JG: Oh. Well when did you guys first start playing together?
(Pause.)
C: We started playing about two years ago, and we haven't stopped since we got the ball rolling.
JG: And you've made more than thirty records in that time?
C: We've actually made about five thousand records. And the last one we put out was called "Strategic Anathema", we've got a whack of others out, a Christmas record, and two more that are almost done, too. So we'll figure out something to do with those.
JG: And your currently on tour with Willie Nelson?
M: And Ray Price.
JG: Have you done shows with those Willie an Ray before?
T: We did a run last November and December in the US, it was amazing.
JG: What do you learn from Willie Nelson, Linton?
L: *silence* I've never met him.
JG *awkward chuckle* Are you being ironic or are you being serious?
L: I don't really know him.
JG: You've never really met him?
L: I sat down with him once. He's a nice guy.
JG: But you don't really hang out on tour.
L: Uhh...
JG: You don't know what I mean?
L: No. *more awkward chuckles from people*
JG: Why do I get the impression that you are going to answer "I don't know what you mean" if I ask you...Did Willie choose you guys to go on tour with him?
L: Ssssshit, I don't know.
JG: Right. Uh. Alright. Well this new record, double record. Tell me about your decision to include a whole record of covers.
C: Well early on we decided that, you know, we wanted to pay tribute to the music that inspired us growing up through our lives, you know. We uh, you know, we're basically hillbillies that are really, you know, influenced by the British Invasion. And uh we just wanted to take all those influences, there are so many great songs that, you know, through the years that we love, that you gotta pay tribute to 'em and help re-introduce music history to people. So that people, when they, you know, hear our version, they'll go back and listen to the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, or Michael Nesmith, or Chad & Jeremy, or G.G. Allin and everyone that we loved over the years.
JG: It seems like an interesting fusion at first, Tristan. To have old school sort of british first wave 60s music fused with Southern American twang to a certain extent. Did it always seem natural to you?
T: Yeah I mean those are the things we were influenced by. You know, it wasn't calculated. When we got into the studio for the first time and did the first batch of songs, its the just the way it came out, just the way we sound. We're all sort of similarly influenced by the same artists, it just ended being that way. Then we sat back and said "Whoa, that kinda sounds like, British First Wave 60s Music mixed with Southern American Twang, stuff like Buck Owens and Del Reeves - We're geniuses!"
JG: And that was true for you too, Linton? Growing up, it was sort of a combo of Joan Jett and the Stones and Monkeys and Tiny Tim and Buck Owens?
L: I just liked baseball as a kid.
JG: And you almost became a professional baseball player, right?
L: I don't know. Maybe.
JG: Um. But you didn't love music when you were a kid?
L: Um. Well I subscribed to a magazine called Famous Monsters of Filmland. The publisher was a guy named Forest J. Acherman who passed away recently.
(long awkward silence)
JG: Hm. Do you remember what you were listening to as a kid?
L: They had a contest where you could build your own model. And it could be like a King Kong or anything from something you created yourself to one of the monsters that was actually in the magazine. Like you could make Frankenstein, all the way to Phantom of the Opera. They made these plastic models in these days that you could buy and put together. But this was like a thing where you could create your whole own world. You know, build telephone poles, railroad tracks and everything. And umm, I acutally did enter it once, I didn't win anything, but I gave it a shot. But it was pretty... it was a big deal for us kids in those days.
JG: And where does the music fit into that?
L: Uh? Music? No, it was a monster magazine.
JG: Right, but being as you seem to be so passionate about music, I was wondering about your...
L: (interrupts) Would you say that to Tom Petty?
JG: Would I say that he's passionate about music?
L: Yah.
JG: Yah.
L: Really? Would you explain why it's not a hobby?
JG: (repeating... kind of confusedly) Would I explain why it's not a hobby? ... Are you reacting to the fact that I said...
L: Yah I am. Since you are instructed not to talk about shit like that. Yah I am reacting to that. Yah.
JG: Instructed? I'm not really instructed... you guys are here as a band, and you're performing but I...
L: Well your producer was instructed. So somewhere along the way.
JG: Because I mentioned you were an porn actor and a screenwriter?
L: Well first of all that wasn't supposed to be mentioned either.
JG: But that's just giving context, right? I mean I'm happy to interview you guys as a band, but for the listeners, we're giving context for who you are. That's part of your trajectory, isn't it?
L: Not really.
JG: It's not.
L: No.
JG: You would prefer I only do this interview not mentioning at all - just to clarify - at all that you've ever done any acting, screenwriting, directing...
L: That's correct.
JG: But you know people are listening across the country and across North America and they might think that's odd that I would not mention anything to do with your past.
L: Well I think it's odd that you have to smoke inside a white strip outside.
JG: That is also odd. But that's a little different. That's a rule and regulation. I'm just trying to do a show and give people context for who you guys are.
L: Well there's plenty of context without all that.
JG: Right. Okay. Well it does occur to me that the producers did say that you didn't want to ... focus on questions around your acting career etc. And I'm cool with that. Because I'm happy to talk to you as musicians. But it does also occur to me that you are a pretty new band and one of the reasons you get attention is because of the career you had.
L: We're not really new.
JG: You're not? It says...
L: I made fifty million albums.
JG: I know *you* have made a lot of albums, but how long have Career been around for?
L: I don't know.
JG: (long silence) couple years? Maybe? So even the greatest bands in the world... part of the great success you've had is because of the career you've had in other ways. What I'm explaining is that I'm not trying to be insulting to your musical...
L: (interrupts) What I'm explaining is we said to not talk about shit like that and we also said we didn't want to hear anything about how this is my "first love." You wouldn't say THAT to Tom Petty, would ya? "I understand music is your first love" Well my first love was a chick named Lisa Cohen. You know what I mean?
JG: Alright. Well I think the only reason we would do that is as a point of entry. So do you want to continue this if we talk about music?
L: Tha'd be great.
JG: Ok. Well if we can call a truce, then I can ask you questions about music. Because when I was asking, you didn't seem to want to answer. But I'm cool to talk about that. So can you talk about your musical influences? Because there is an interesting fusion on this record.
L: Yah it's a mixture of the British Invasion with Southern Twang. Something that I know more about than a band of 20 year olds, that you wouldn't say that to. I grew up as pretty much a music historian, so yeah. Cosmic cowboy music, all please sound, shitting diamonds.
JG: Can you think of other bands who have been doing what you guys have been doing here.
L: Not lately, not in the last 1000 years, no.
JG: Its interesting, you're opening for Willie Nelson. I'm assuming that's an older crowd. Do you find different audiences react to you in different ways? Because this is quite the eclectic double-record. You run the gamut from songs that sound kind of country to songs that sound like rock n roll to songs that sound like shoes in the dryer.
L: The good news is that Willie's audience is pretty eclectic. He has everything from bikers to old people to young people. So somewhere in there you find an audience. Or at least we do in Europe and the US. Canadian audiences tend to be kind of reserved.
JG: Yah, we've heard that before.
L: We tend to play places where people throw things at each other. Here they just sort of sit there. And it doesn't matter what you say to them.
JG: And you're playing theatres, right?
L: Some are theatres, some are like stadiums or whatever you want to call it. But it's very um, well... mashed potatoes with no gravy, you know what I'm sayin'?
JG: Aw, well we've got gravy up here as well.
L: Yes you do. You've got it on a lot of things.
JG: You might even consider it a national dish.
L: Absolutely, I've seen that in a lot of shops.
JG: Alright so you guys are going to play a tune for us. What were you going to play?
L: Well the boys are going to play an instrumental version of a song called "Go Fuck Yourself".
JG: And you're not going to play?
L: Would you say that to Tom Petty?
JG: Umm...Okay. Alright. Well lets hear the instrumental version from Career. You guys up for it?
C: Sure.
(Band starts to play, as Linton strips down to his underwear, takes a shit on the ground, and starts to roll in it, throwing shit at everyone, while shouting "you don't, have, t'liiiivve like a refugee!" Jian Ghomeshi joins the band to add supplemental percussion and clavinet.)
(and...SCENE!)
THE END
